my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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