Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
