the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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