It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
