I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
