If i come over, it means nothing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Even my vagina gasped.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
