She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
