I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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