oh god the rape fog is back!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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