You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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