i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
