when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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