so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We had to coat check the pizza.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
