It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
