Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
