I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
