I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
