He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
