Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
