I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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