Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
