i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
