Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
