That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
