so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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