Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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