I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
