I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
