I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
