so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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