woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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