It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
