I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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