Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
