Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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