I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
