Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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