He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
