people are starting to question the shark bite story
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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