I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
