none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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