Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
