in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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