he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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