If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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