I accidentally burped into my bong.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's blow job season.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
