I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
