So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
