Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
