Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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